Kicking straight off with symptoms
With turning 29 weeks Friday just gone; the 30 week mark is fast approaching, and with this I’m feeling all the strains of the third and final trimester. My Braxton Hicks are getting even more frequent then before (which is ALOT) and they are very VERY uncomfortable. My whole tummy turns completely rock hard and sometimes I physically cannot move. Like I’ve said before although it doesn’t hurt, it’s extremely uncomfortable and isn’t very nice. Another very weird thing that’s happening this week is I’m feeling very strange but strong punches or movement very very close to my lady parts.. yes you heard correct. I’m not to sure how to explain it but it’s almost like a hand or a foot is centimetres away from poking out down there. This again is extremely uncomfortable and very alien like. It makes me feel very sick and queezy at times. I try to sit very still when this happens just to see if it goes away.. I’ve googled this and asked my midwife who has said it’s actually pressure of my baby’s head on the cervix… to start the thinning and dialating process!!! Obviously I freaked out big time! He’s still got another 11 weeks left of cooking to do! But it’s just him preparing for his arrival apparently.. I did have a midwife appointment last week and heard his little heartbeat through the Doppler which is always amazing to hear. My midwife said he was head down and getting ready for life in the big world.. she also measured my bump which is perfect for 29 weeks , right on chart line. So everything is happening as it should. Pregnancy mask is still going strong, covering my face in this redness which sometimes gets me really down. But I know it’s just my hormones due to this pregnancy. I’ve been told it’ll fade after birth. Apart from looking and feeling a little run down I’ve had so many lovely compliments on how ‘radient’ and ‘natural’ I’m looking and I’ve even heard the word ‘glowing’ obviously it’s so so lovely to hear and I want to cry when I get these lovely compliments however I’m feeling far from these discriptions funnily enough and generally just feel a little fat and spotty. Not had an ‘episode’ for about a week now… I’ve felt them coming on quite a bit but it fades before I actually have one. Which is great. My hair is still breaking .. quite bad now. Which isn’t doing anything for my self esteem either. Getting up in the night about 3-4 times still to use the toilet which is an absolute ball ache, as I’m so big now that it’s such a struggle to even change position in bed let alone actually get up to go anywhere at this stage! I’m suffering from a bit of SPD also which is so bad at night and if I’ve spent the day out with my partner and son on long walks or doing a food shop, generally anything other then sitting on my ass all day will take it’s toll come evening. I have to sleep with my pregnancy pillow every night without fail. Tucked between my legs to support my bump and help my legs and pelvis. But man does it ache!!!!! I’m thinking of talking to my GP about a waist support thing for my bump. So that’s pretty much it for symptoms.. not feeling to emotional or distressed. I’m still feeling so I love with life and it really does show when people ask how I’m doing or compliment ” your looking really well” which I love to hear as I’m feeling the best I’ve ever felt in my life. So it’s nice to know it shows.
So I’ve spent a few nights away camping with my closet this week. My partner , my son and my sister’s. It’s been amazing to get away and enjoy the outdoors; I love being outdoors. But weirdly it’s took my focus off my baby which I felt weird about. It got to evening and I suddenly though I’ve not thought about my baby or any of the “still to do’s” at home all day! Which made me feel a little guilty. He’s moving more and more every day now so obviously I didn’t completely forget about him. How could I with his feet in my ribs and the lifting of my skin moving all over the place. But I wasn’t worrying about the house or chores still to be done or thinking about him in general. With all the laughter and fooling around my focus was completely shifted. I guess that’s what break aways are for. But it still felt weird. Lots of photos were took, lots of memories to look back on for the future. As I was looking through them I came across one my sister had took of me , sitting on an inflatable sofa, with a beer (alcohol free .. a Becks blue to be specific) my natural hair crinkling over my shoulders, bare face; no make up (face a little red but owel) smiling and as I look at this photo it makes me want to cry. In a good way though. I’m just the healthiest I’ve ever been. The happiest I’ve ever been and the most content I’ve ever been. I’ve been through a lot in my life , had a lot of experiences , experimented with life alot. Battled with my weight my appearance my way of thinking , hated myself. I was never kind to myself growing up and was never capable of self love. But after conquering all my demons, falling in love , having my son, creating a family and a home for my boys and now being pregnant with my second planned bundle of joy I just feel an absolute fullness . Like I’m where I have always wanted and needed to be and the photo just reminded me of how far I’ve come as a person and how proud I am of myself. YES MYSELF to have got this far and to finally be at peace with myself. I’m filled with so much happiness lately as everyone knows as I talk about it alot, but self love is something I’ve really learnt throughout this pregnancy. My little unborn Oscar has taught me how to love myself again, love my body and be proud of who I am and everything I’ve achieved. I was to young to experience these feelings with my first born Oliver. As my closet know his pregnancy was a nightmare and completely the opposite to this one. I hated every second of every minute of my first pregnancy. I was without a home, food, I was isolated , withdrawn, to young to cope alone and everything was just shit if I’m honest. This didn’t stop me loving my baby or looking forward to his arrival. It’s just a shame I couldn’t enjoy the pregnancy , I felt so alone. However it just makes me appreciate these feelings I’ve had during this pregnancy so much more. Because things are so different and much more balanced this time around. I couldn’t be more in love with my boys, my family, and myself. There are times where it’s ok not to love yourself. I’m not saying we as women need to love every inch of our bodies all the time, god knows I don’t. But every once in a while maybe take a look at the reason we don’t like what we see as much as we used to. For me it’s looking at my children, my son and the scan pics what cover my fridge of my unborn baby.. they are the reason my body doesn’t look like it used to and although my tummy isn’t flat and won’t be after my newest baby either , my face and skin isn’t clear, and my hair isn’t long and luxurious.. I’m reminded every day of why and im proud to not be ok with it all the time, and even prouder when I am. The photo of me my sister look I love. It shows health, happiness and contentment. Something alot of the photos taken of me before growing up didn’t have. I’m proud.
With less then a week until the 30week mark the countdown is almost here! Then it’s the last ten weeks to go which will either drag or fly. The past 29 weeks have flew and although I’m so excited for my little ones birth I’m not wishing it away. I’m going to take this time to enjoy my bump, the movements from within, the feeling of the unknown. Because once he’s here. It’ll all be different and I know ill have to adjust to my new body and the feeling of him not being in there. Yes, I’m aware he’ll be in my arms, but the feeling of an empty tummy after birth is a very strange and uneasy one. This week my little baby is measuring in at around 39 centimetres and weighing in between 2 and a half to 3 pounds! His eyes are now able to focus although there’s not much to focus on in there but i found that a really fun fact! What’s scary for me is although I know I’m a week away from the 10 week countdown, I’m coming to realise that in two weeks I’m going to be into the single digits ! Which is absolutely mind blowing! Still so excited but it’s finally starting to hit home a little that it’s coming to an end and I’m not to sure how I feel about it.
Apart from the symptoms I’m feeling great over all. Still nesting like mad and over the next three weeks the house should be finished and the rooms finally completed. I cannot wait to get the paint back out and paint the final bedroom, add a few shelves , photos and obviously a few plants! So much to look forward to and with the constant reminder from my partner we are almost in the final countdown I’m getting more and more eager to have it finished. Everything needs to be perfect for his arrival. Not adequate, not ok … PERFECT. Only one or two more appointments with the midwife before he comes, the bump painting which I still can’t wait for! And of course the baby shower. Then that’s it. All the milestones done… then it’s just the waiting game. WHICH I CAN PLAY